I have half an hour to kill before my final tutorial of the semester begins and what bothers me (other than that fact that the sleeves of my jacket is a little way too short.. but in my defence, they were $9.90) is the constant nagging voice in my head that goes ” you should be studying instead”. But as I eat a cold rice ball for breakfast and type this post, I won the self-diminishing devil in my mind 🙂 and it feels good. It feels good to have some time to myself. I appreciate quiet mornings where morning dew is still present on the leaves as your leg brushes pass them, I appreciate having time to sit down and enjoy my breakfast (its my favourite meal of the day!), I appreciate the serenity (because in University, at 10am, less than a third of the population is awake).
My dear mother gave me a hug this morning to encourage me as she seems me hustle and bustle to and fro campus for the past two days and I thought out loud: ” study also sian, don’t study also sian..”
SIAN (see-en): A wonderfully concise Hokkien adjective which conveys boredom, weariness, frustration and emptiness. The English equivalent would be “ennui”. -Talkingcock.com
and I realised.. I actually enjoyed studying (as odd as it sounds, I do!) I enjoy learning new things, interesting, mind-boggling subjects but I realised that what I was feeling “sian” about was the fact that they were grading us based on how well we are able to regurgitate information.
Well, I guess we could all pray for a bigger memory storage space in our brain :’) Have a good day y’all!